SPECIAL: 2013, Ranked from Worst to Almost-Best

By Chris Luckett

In just a few days, I’ll be revealing my Best Movies of 2013. In the meantime, I can certainly say what isn’t on the best-of list. Below is every movie I saw last year, ranked from the very worst of the zero-stars to the very best of the four stars. (Bonus: Any of the titles with an * are clickable links to their corresponding reviews.)

Photo: The Weinstein Company

133. Grown-Ups 2 (0 stars)

132. Battle of the Year (0)

131. A Haunted House (0)

130. Getaway (0)

129. Scary Movie 5 (0)

128. Riddick* (0)

127. Movie 43 (0.5 stars)

126. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (0.5)

125. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (0.5)

124. 21 & Over (0.5)

Photo: Universal Pictures

123. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (0.5)

122. Pain & Gain (0.5)

121. Kick-Ass 2 (1 star)

120. Safe Haven (1)

119. Paranoia (1)

118. The Smurfs 2 (1)

117. Identity Thief (1.5 stars)

116. The Host (1.5)

115. R.I.P.D. (1.5)

Photo: Paramount Pictures

114. Oldboy* (1.5)

113. Evil Dead (1.5)

112. The Purge (2 stars)

111. Epic (2)

110. The Big Wedding (2)

109. Escape from Planet Earth (2)

108. One Direction: This is Us (2)

107. Bad Grandpa* (2)

106. Trance (2)

105. Carrie* (2)

Photo: Warner Bros.

104. Only God Forgives (2)

103. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2)

102. Pacific Rim (2)

101. A Good Day to Die Hard (2)

100. After Earth (2)

99. Nothing Left to Fear* (2.5 stars)

98. The Call (2.5)

97. Turbo (2.5)

96. To the Wonder (2.5)

Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

95. Dark Skies (2.5)

94. The Book Thief (2.5)

93. Planes (2.5)

92. Jack the Giant Slayer (2.5)

91. The Lone Ranger (2.5)

90. Computer Chess (2.5)

89. 2 Guns (2.5)

88. The Family (2.5)

87. The Croods (2.5)

86. Olympus Has Fallen (2.5)

Photo: Warner Bros.

85. The Internship (2.5)

84. Despicable Me 2* (2.5)

83. Side Effects (3 stars)

82. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (3)

81. The Great Beauty (3)

80. Man of Steel (3)

79. The Bling Ring (3)

78. The Butler (3)

77. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (3)

Photo: Sony Pictures

76. RED 2* (3)

75. A.C.O.D. (3)

74. White House Down (3)

73. This is the End* (3)

72. Snitch (3.5 stars)

71. August: Osage County (3.5)

70. Blue Jasmine (3.5)

69. 42 (3.5)

Photo: Warner Bros.

68. Philomena (3.5)

67. World War Z (3.5)

66. Don Jon* (3.5)

65. Wolf Children (3.5)

64. Fast & Furious 6 (3.5)

63. Frances Ha (3.5)

62. The Great Gatsby (3.5)

61. Oz the Great and Powerful* (3.5)

60. Room 237 (3.5)

Photo: 20th Century Fox

59. Drinking Buddies (3.5)

58. The Kings of Summer (3.5)

57. The World’s End (3.5)

56. Monsters University (3.5)

55. The Heat (3.5)

54. Iron Man 3 (3.5)

53. Saving Mr. Banks (3.5)

52. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty* (3.5)

51. The Hangover, Part III (3.5)

Photo: Universal Pictures

50. Oblivion (3.5)

49. Sound City (4 stars)

48. Out of the Furnace (4)

47. Mud (4)

46. The Company You Keep (4)

45. The Hunt (4)

44. Short Term 12 (4)

43. The Way Way Back (4)

Photo: Warner Bros.

42. Last Vegas* (4)

41. We’re the Millers* (4)

40. Insidious, Chapter 2* (4)

39. Thor: The Dark World* (4)

38. Enough Said (4)

37. Now You See Me (4)

36. Catching Fire* (4)

35. Blue is the Warmest Colour* (4)

34. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom (4)

Photo: Warner Bros.

33. Star Trek Into Darkness* (4)

32. Nebraska* (4)

31. The Wolf of Wall Street* (4)

30. Jobs (4)

29. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (4)

28. Much Ado About Nothing (4)

27. Elysium* (4)

The remaining twenty-six movies are the Best Movies of 2013, which will be revealed in just a few days. (What can be said: numbers 26-5 on the list are four-and-a-half-star movies and numbers 4-1 are perfect fives.)

Stay tuned for The Apple Box’s Best Movies of 2013, coming soon. In the meantime, how many of the 2013 movies above have you seen? Would any of them make your Best of the Year list? What are you hoping will make the final cut? Comment below!